Dear Friend,
Since writing yesterday, I’ve been thinking this message might be more helpful as a separate post, a little support in the midst of what is often a distressing season.
‘Tis the Season
‘Tis the season when people are overwhelmed by loneliness, enough to sometimes wear out and give up. At no other time of year is there such pressure in family gatherings, with expectations of satisfactory presents, meals requiring enormous preparation and a cleaned house…not to mention the sometimes excruciating dysfunctional family dynamics.
Are you feeling it right now?
It IS possible in the determined preparations, you could actually bring together something you really love. The meal you prepare could bring comfort and nourishment to family and friends. The gifts you thoughtfully choose or make could be met with delight and appreciation rather than entitled eye rolls and dismissal. The house you labor to make presentable….it may be magical. Even if the floorboards are dusty and the clutter never got put away. People won’t care. And if they do, that’s their lonely, critical spirit, and NOT your problem.
If you feel angst and apprehension right now because you know you will be alone, or you will be with people who make you feel lonely, and you fear the darkness creeping in may overwhelm you, please know that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are JUST DAYS.
THESE TOO SHALL PASS.
You may be better off not attending a gathering of cold or distant or mean-spirited relatives. You may find more strength in simply declining invitations and creating a comforting day caring for yourself with some comfort food, a few good movies or a good read, and your dog or cat who loves you lavishly and perfectly. Or create your own gathering with your “family of choice,” people with whom you feel safe and celebrated.
Whatever you do, please remember it is more than OKAY to step away and give yourself breaks from gatherings. It is, in fact, really healthy. Pop outside for some fresh air, or into the bathroom for quiet breathing. Give yourself a hug and a tall glass of water. Walk away from the mean one (who is probably deeply troubled and in a bad place in life) and toward the one who is kind to you. It’s not your job to help nor comfort cold-hearted people if it harms you. Bring along your knitting or a book and retreat into it rather than watching the football game or movie with the crowd. Plan a visit to a local site or a nearby friend.
But do things that make you feel like you are loving and caring for yourself.
You are worthy of love, of care, and of cherishing. Don’t go toward those who offer you anything other than loving honor. You have power and choices.
Finally, remember, that a world of wonder is right out the door from you. That bird singing overhead. The powdered sugar snow resting on graceful spruce branches. Wonderworld is around you indoors in the sparkle of a favorite ornament that evokes a sweeter time. In the listening ear of a grandmother who is hoping you’ll sit by her and talk with her. In the taste of iced cookies like the ones you used to decorate when you were a kid.
Find the magic. Go out and play. And if you are lucky enough to have snow this Christmas, please break out of your reserved shell and go make a snow angel!! And send me a photo in our new Substack CHAT!
Join Linda J Sack’s subscriber chat
I promise it will make you feel incredible. (🥶And a little cold, from which you will recover!)
I wish for you to experience many little messages of love this Christmas in those birds and ornaments and grandmothers and nature, in a kind comment on social media or a call from a kind person.
Don’t miss your wonderworld.
With Ruby Love, and mine,
Linda
P.S. Let me know if you find this helpful in the chat. Or hit the like/heart button.
Hi Linda,
I just joined your substack and listened to my first one on my hike today, thoroughly enjoyed.
Believe it or not, I needed to hear just these words today.
Thanks much,
Chris
💗”don’t miss your wonderworld”